I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
