I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
