there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Randomize
