i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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