I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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