I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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