he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
