You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
