Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
