You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
