I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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