Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
