If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
