Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
