What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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