why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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