I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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