ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
only you would photoshop your dick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
