no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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