atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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