I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
