She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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