so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
