I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
