is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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