I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
