I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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