I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
