I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
