when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
