Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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