I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
