porn star boner night. come get it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
