I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
