All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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