HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
