You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
