A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
