i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
