So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
