Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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