i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
