i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
