Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
