Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
