Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I made him laugh his dick is mine
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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