if i can run in heels then i can drive
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
