windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
