ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
