Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
