i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
