Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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