the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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